Improve your Marriage and Family Life
Improving both your marriage and your family life takes effort and commitment. Parenting is one of the most demanding jobs on the planet, and while many couples pour their lives into their children, they often neglect their marriage.
And so what happens then is that when the children grow up and leave, many couples realise that they don’t really know each other any more, because for the last 20+ years, their lives were all about the children.
But it doesn’t have to be this way!
You can have a vibrant marriage, even in the midst of raising a family. You just need to be deliberate, and committed, because it doesn’t happen by accident.
Click here for a Definitive Guide on How to Save Your Marriage
The following are three tips that will help you to strengthen both your marriage and family life.
1) Make time for your marriage
This point sounds obvious, but it’s amazing how many couples neglect each other, and just focus on the kids instead.
Make sure that you have quality time together on a regular basis, with no distractions. This will help you to stay connected, and strengthen your marriage.
Most couples find that they can do this at night time, once the kids are asleep. It is recommended that you spend around 20 minutes talking to each other daily, and really focusing on how each other is going. It’s probably best that you don’t spend this time talking about difficult or tense issues, but rather use the time to enjoy each other’s company..
Alongside 20 minutes a day, make sure you spend one whole night every week together, doing something you both enjoy. This could be something as simple as cuddling up before a DVD, or playing a game, or even going out if you can get a babysitter. Whatever it is, make sure it happens at least once a week, and make sure its just the two of you, without the kids. Both your marriage and family will be better off as a result.
2) Remember that the best way to love your kids, is by having a strong marriage
This second point is not so obvious. Usually we think that as long we love each child individually, then that is enough, and that what happens between you and your spouse isn’t as important: that somehow, marriage and family are separate.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Yes, it is important to love each child individually. But just as important – if not more important – is to show the children that you love your spouse, and vice versa. Very few things hurt a child as much as seeing mum and dad fighting, and not loving each other. This causes all sorts of emotional stress and trauma for the child, particularly if it’s ongoing.
But if you love your spouse, then the child feels secure, and loved. In fact, few things make the child happier, or more secure, than seeing mum and dad love each other.
Marriage and family really are connected: if you have a happy marriage, then you’ll more likely have a happy family as well.
3) Spend focused time with each child
Another way to show love to your children is by spending focused time with each child one-on-one. Of course, you also want to spend time together as a family, but spending focused one-on-one time with each child really conveys to them how much you love and care them.
This could be in the form of ‘dates’, where you take each child out for some sort of treat, be it an ice-cream, or a sporting event, or movie – whatever both you and the child enjoy doing. Be sure, though, to make time to talk during these ‘dates’, so that you can really connect.
It helps if you can start doing these ‘dates’ before teenage years hit, as many teenagers may find it ‘uncool’ to spend this sort of time with mum or dad! But if this is what they’re used to, then you’ll more likely be able to spend time with them during those turbulent years.
By remembering the above 3 things, you will find that both your marriage and family life is strengthened. Sure, it takes a little effort and planning, but in the end, what things in life are more important than your marriage and your family?
Click here for a Definitive Guide on How to Save Your Marriage