How to Save Your Marriage

If you’re reading this, then chances are that you’re trying to figure out how to save your marriage.

Perhaps your marriage started off well, but of late has gone downhill. Or perhaps your marriage was always on rocky ground, but it’s now at the stage that you know it needs rescuscitation.

Either way, regardless of your situation, here are three very important ‘secrets’ that will help you to save your marriage.

Click here for the Definitive Guide on How to Save Your Marriage

How to Save Your Marriage Secret #1: Choose your response

If your marriage is difficult and stressful, and you feel that it’s crumbling, then chances are that it is full of tension. In these situations it is easy to respond to your partner in an angry, negative, and hurtful way – especially if you feel hurt by them!

However, if you pay back ‘evil for evil’, then you’ll only make the situation worse, not better. Your marriage will continue it’s downward spiral, and it will only be more difficult to save.

What the situation requires is for you to stop, and to make a decision. Decide to choose your response to any negativity that comes from your spouse. So instead of paying back evil for evil, pay back evil for good. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s not easy to do that in a tense, emotional situation where you’re constantly feeling attacked. But believe me, if you can stop being negative towards them (even if you feel they deserve it!), then you’ll have a much better chance of getting the marriage back on track.

So for example, if they make some nasty comment about your appearance or behaviour etc, don’t say anything in return. Choose to respond positively, by either saying nothing, or (if the comment is valid), even apologising to them.

You can’t control your spouse, or what they say to you: but you can control your response to them. And by choosing to respond in a postive way, you’ll stand a much better chance of turning your marriage around.

How to Save Your Marriage Secret #2: Marriage is like a plant – if you don’t ‘water’ it, it will die

This second secret will help you to look at your marriage in a completely different way.

You see, marriage is like a plant. And just like any plant, it needs attention. It needs  ‘water’ to survive and grow. In terms of marriage, this means things like time, and energy. And I don’t just mean the annual getaway (although that is important), but an ongoing, weekly, if not daily, attention.

In our busy, over-scheduled world, our marriages often don’t often get the attention that they need. Perhaps you’ve been too busy at work, with long hours away from home. Or perhaps it’s time with kids, taking them to all sorts of activities after school. Or perhaps you spend too much time in front of the tv. Either way, our marriages don’t often need the tender loving care that they need to survive, and thrive.

And so our marriages end up withering away. After a while, you feel like your spouse is nothing more than a flatmate, or someone that helps look after your kids. There’s no sense of bonding, and closeness.

To remedy this situation, make sure that you spend quality time with your spouse, with your attention is not anything else but each other. Do this when the kids are asleep, or being looked after by someone else. Make sure the tv is off. And talk. Ask each other how the other is going. Make sure you just listen, and try to understand. This will help build a healthy bond between the two of you, which will help to save your marriage.

How to Save Your Marriage Secret#3: Love your partner with actions, and the feelings will follow.

Most people think that once they don’t feel any love toward their spouse, then it’s over. Like a typical Hollywood romance movie, they think that love is nothing more than a feeling.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

Love is not merely a feeling: it’s an action. Loving someone is not just about having feelings toward them, but about doing good to them. True love is about sacrificing for the other person; about doing things that inconvenience you.

Now you’re probably thinking: how can I sacrifice for my spouse if I don’t feel like it? I mean, shouldn’t I feel like doing good to them, before I do good to them?

Not quite.

You see, you can still decide to do good to them, regardless of how you feel. You can still cook a special dinner for them, or babysit the kids while they get to go out with their friends, whether you feel like it, or not.

And after you do those sorts of things for them, you’ll notice that feelings will often follow. To be honest, most people find that loving feelings within marriage come and go: the important thing is to be committed to your spouse, and show your love through action.

Want to find out more?

Click here for the Definitive Guide on How to Save Your Marriage